Seriously, What's happening?!

11:17 PM

I don't know but this past few days, or I mean.. This past few weeks, I'm like the girl with surrounded with my negative aura. I JUST HATE MY LIFE. Seriously, what's happening to me again? Why do I need to feel this hatred and depression every once in while? WHY? I know this won't make me a better person, this feeling won't help me, this won't make me successful. But I can't fight this feeling! I'M TRYING TO BE HAPPY! Okay fine, I'm trying to be positive!! Especially at school and also at home. But !@#$%^& Everytime my worst nightmare is happening, all positivity? Poosh! Gone! Back to being the Psycho girl who fucking hates her life. Nah, I can't post it now the number one reason why I fucka so much hate my life. But someday, I'll post it. When.. NVM. Basta, Someday! :D

Okay going back to hating my life and all, I know its just a test. And I need to pass this TEST! This is hard, this is just super hard. You know that? All my friends left me. Okay, NOT ALL. But the closest ones, the ones I spend most of my time with. They left me. Some have their boyfriends, some are busy with their studies and the closest will transfer to Manila.  I'm trying to make new friends with my new classmates but I'm so awkward that it builds a wall and destroys the connection. That's why I always end up, ALONE. And I should get used to it even though I don't want to. This is the life that I choose. A LONELY LIFE.

"Boyfriend" 
is having boyfriend the answer to my depression-loneliness-hatred-problem? I don't think so. Boyfriend is more of a problem to me. First things first: I AM NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Why? I'm so pretty kasi, that's why -_- Tss. I don't know with my parents. 
Maybe they think if I have a boyfriend, I'm gonna get pregnant. Yikes! :&

ASIDE FROM THAT, THERE'S STILL A LOT OF THINGS THAT REALLY MAKES ME HATE MY LIFE

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