Stranger Feels

I have to be honest that the few weeks of this month is not so good and so fun compared to some weeks of last month's and of 2014. I don't know but somewhat, I feel lonely and more lonely day by day. I know this lonely feeling is my fault because I'm spacing out, I don't bond that much and I don't get in touch with my friends that much. I don't know anymore. It feels like, I don't know who am I anymore and the I don't know who my friends are. Its like I'm being a stranger. I'm being a stranger to everyone, even to myself. All these negativity that goes inside my mind affects me as an individual. I miss being happy, I miss laughing so hard that my cheeks hurt and almost laying on the ground. I miss that kind of happiness. I miss being with my friends and just be spontaneous. I miss that life. I want to get that life back but I can't. I need to focus on my studies since my grades aren't good enough. I need to focus on being a good daughter. I need to focus on something that I don't know what that thing is. Little did I know, I'm slowly blurring my friends out. And I didn't mean this to happen. Now, I feel so empty and nothing. I feel dull. I feel hatred all over my body even to every nerves that I have. I feel depress. I feel sad. I feel lonely. It feels like I don't wanna live anymore.

This life is sad. I don't know what to do about this shit. I'm tired of this sad life. I can't wait to be happy and full of love type of girl again. Please be that girl again, Kath.